the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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