If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize