I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
