You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
