im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
