I could have mohawked her pubes.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
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He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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