and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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