she woke up with a sticky ear
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
