Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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