We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
