I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
