sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
