Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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