you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
