and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
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found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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