i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
