That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
