ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
