i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
