What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize