We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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