Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
