ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
