Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
