OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
