He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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