Dual....:-)
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize