Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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