NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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