I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
