she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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