you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i dont even know how to be here
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
