She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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