i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
