Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Can vaginas get frostbite?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
