the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
