I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
