their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
