I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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