that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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