I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
