I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
