I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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