dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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