That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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