Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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