Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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