i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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