also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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