Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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