i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize