found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Even my vagina gasped.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
His nipple licking is glorious
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