I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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