You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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