Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
