"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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