she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
