So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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