She is in my trunk
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
