god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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